Tonight

I came really close to having a break down.
Thank goodness for my friend Tina and Twitter.

Our little girl was moving like crazy on my way home from work. This is normal, our little girl is a mover and she is strong. He kicks can be rough and my right side is getting beat up! Right now I don't mind and every kick I cherish because every kick means she is still alive and growing.

Tonight I was doing my normal thing and was putting away baby clothing that I had washed. I came into bed to start watching The Bachelor and I thought I was having a contraction. This contraction was more painful then normal and was lower on my right side. The pain kept coming and going and I was starting to freak out because I couldn't remember the last time I felt her move.

I wrote on twitter " I keep getting this pain, I am getting mad and I need this baby to move."

My friend Tina responded right away and told me to drink a glass of cold water and lay on my left side. I did what she said and I laid there and I waited and she talked to me, well tweeted with me and calmed me down.

The pain keeps coming and going and I don't know if it is a contraction or if she is just sitting weird or pressing on something. It is a new pain though and it was very uncomfortable. Our little girl has kicked and moved ( only a few times but she has moved ) in the last 10 minutes and that is what matters.

THANK GOD I go to the Doctor tomorrow and I can talk to her about all of this. It is so easy to say relax and calm down and the baby will move when she wants to and yet again it is so easy to freak out because what I have causes Still Birth and movement is the only way for me to know that our little girl is alive and growing is by her movement.

SO YES TONIGHT I FREAKED OUT AND I ALMOST LOST IT!
but I have regrouped and I am feeling ok now. I think I should go and get some sleep.

Sorry my posts have lacked pictures. I will try and get some up soon because all these word posts are kind of over whelming for me!

A Name

What is in a name? Does the meaning of the name really make a difference if you are going to choose it for your child? Did you consider what your child/children's name meant before you named him or her?

When we picked out Alexandra's name I didn't think about the meaning. She is named after family and that is how we chose her name. I will start with the meaning on her name.

Alexandra - Protector of Mankind
Mary - Bitter

Wow that is an interesting way to look at her name!

Now on to the names that we are thinking about for our new little girl.

Maxine ( middle name ) - Greatest

AVIN - "Unknown" - people with this name tend to be natural leaders, self-sufficient, and ambitious. They generally want to make their own decision in life and are not afraid to take charge or manage a situation. It is important for them to avoid extremes of bossiness or shyness. They tend to be too impulsive. Professionally, they can be successful in political leadership, celebrity status, or as a small business owner.

ELIZA - "Consecrated to God" or "Devoted to God" - people with this name tend to be decisive and good with money. They try to have a balance between the physical and the spiritual world. They can often be a successful entrepreneur, and are often striving to reach ever higher goals and positions.

Ava - "Variant of medieval given names Avis and Aveline" "Breath Of Life" "Waterfall" - people with this name tend to be very warm and nurturing. They are extremely reliable and are often found taking care of others. They have a deep need to try and create harmony in their surroundings. They can have difficulties saying "no". They can be quit successful as a personal assistant, educator, or caterer to a small business.

So I believe those are the names that we are looking at or considering. It could all change tomorrow but let me know your thoughts. I think I like Avin best and I think Chad likes Eliza best. Names are so important but the meaning isn't that important to me. I just want to like the name, not get sick of it after a few days and I didn't want to be extremely common.

So leave a comment, don't be shy! Let me know what you think!

On A Saturday

My OBGYN just called me to follow up. I was a little nervous to answer this call because usually they wouldn't call on a Saturday unless it is important. I am glad she called because I like follow ups an it puts my mind at ease when she has good news or NOT BAD news.

She had talked with the specialist that I met with on Wed. and she said that my Ultrasound looked great. The specialist was happy with everything he saw and he thinks that I will be ok if I just go into my actual OB Office 2 times a week and not into the Perinatal Center unless things change for the worse. I am happy about this because that clinic isn't close but then I am also a little worried because I like being in the hands of specialist and people that are trained in dealing with this. I have faith in my OB and she has been great through this all.

So starting now I will be going to my clinic 2 times a week with ultra sounds and 1 time a week with blood work and meeting with my doctor. The same thing I was doing but they will not be doing a doppler. I guess my little girl did so well on her test that they are not thinking they need the doppler. Still a lot to do but I am glad it is all being done a lot closer to home.

The plan is still to induce between 36 and 37 weeks. We can not schedule to be induced until a week before hand so we have to wait until the week of the 15th . We are hoping to be induced on the 22nd ( both Chad and my mom want that date for some reason ). I am not big on the date I just want her here.

This week they will start checking me to see if I am dilated at all. So Tuesday we have a very big day and will be at the doctor for about 2 + hours.

Little girl has been very active and my sleep is only getting worse. I am ready for her to be here now. Grandma and Grandpa Schuler are here this weekend and the girls are taking off to do some shopping ( joann fabrics, once upon a child, sams club, target and maybe wal mart )

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

I need help with names

Eliza Maxine
Avin Maxine
Ava Maxine

Why You Laughing

At Me . .

I just overheard it all. Alex told chad she wanted to watch somebody save me ( that stands for Smallville and I know its such a great show for her to watch ). After she told Chad that I heard a loud noise and Chad yell ALEXANDRA!

She was quite for a little after that and then came walking into our bedroom with her head down. She told me

"Mommy, I dropped my car down off the stairs and daddy yelled ALEXANDRA so I went into my room!"

She said all this with her head down and she sounded so cute. I started cracking up right away because her voice and facial expressions where just amazing.

She then yelled, "Why are you laughing at me?"

Oh I had to write this down because it was so funny and she just does the funniest things now. She often walks into a corner or up to her room when we say her full name and she knows she has done something wrong. Also her head is always hanging down!

Oh how I just love her!

I Find Myself

Waiting for her every move
Wondering when her next kick will be
Laying awake at night waiting for her to roll
Poking at my belly so that I can get a poke back

These next 2 or 3 weeks are going to be extremely long. I can see myself getting very little sleep and worrying a lot. I know I shouldn't but I can't help it and no matter how much I tell myself it is out of my hands, I will be worrying about our little girl between every single kick, poke or jab.

We kind of have a routine, her and I. She is usually some what active in the mornings on my way to work when I drink my Sunkist Orange, listen to Dave Ryan and The Morning Show and Alex is in the backseat sleeping.

She is then active again during nap time while I mess around on my computer ( sitting on the couch or in bed ) and the other kids are sound asleep.

She is VERY active ( out of control sometimes ) at night time when I get in bed between 8 & 9 pm. This is when she might move for 10 minutes straight and it used to drive me crazy and I just wanted her to relax and go to bed. Now I will cherish all those little jabs and turns and annoying little pokes.

And then when I wake up in the middle of the night, those 3 or 4 times I have to pee when I should be getting my beauty rest. Well usually around 2am she will keep me awake for awhile kicking the bed or pillow because I am leaning on it.

Those are the times I expect her to kick and if she doesn't I start to worry. Last night I didn't remember her kicking at all in the middle of the night, I might have just been really tried but when I woke up I was worried. She didn't move at all until I was in the car on my way to work.

OH I WAS SO EXCITED WHEN SHE STARTED TO MOVE AND KICK!

I don't truly enjoy being pregnant. Lots of my friends think I have it easy because I don't gain much weight while pregnant. That is very nice but I throw up a lot and have other complications.

With Alex I had morning sickness and then I had all my issues with the Gall Bladder. Spending nights in the hospital, throwing up way more then anyone should, not being able to eat anything but chicken and white rice, and having surgery 2 weeks after having a baby is something I don't call fun.

So when I got pregnant this time I was excited. I thought it would be easy and I would be able to eat whatever I wanted and enjoy this pregnancy without any pain. The morning sickness was way worse and I was very tired in the beginning. Then the bleeding started and that lasted for about 2 weeks with 3 or 4 different trips into see my OBGYN and have ultrasounds done. There was one point when we were playing at an indoor play park and I was 100% sure I had lost the baby ( the blood and clots where insane and I had to use a diaper as my pad until it would stop ). She is a fighter and she held on strong and her little heart continued to beat and she kept on growing.

AND NOW this, something so rare something they would have never tested me for if my mom had not found it on the Internet and I had not mentioned it to one of the Doctors. Something we would have never found if I would not have complained and complained about my itching and finally called the Dr. to see if there was ANYTHING they could do for me.

Now I find myself in the Dr. Office 2 or more times a week. We will be welcoming our little girl a month early but I am worried it wont be early enough. I want her here now and I want to know she is in the Dr.'s hands and not inside my belly were something might go wrong and harm her. As soon as she is out in this world this ICP has no effect on her and it can't harm her. The itching will stop and my Bile Acid Levels will go back to normal.

EVERYTHING CAN GO BACK TO NORMAL!

I know things can be so much worse, I know people who have had miscarriages, lost there babies, have been trying for years, had to spend lots of money just to get pregnant. I feel for all those women and families.

But right now for me, I am just worried and I will be until she is here, safe and sound in our arms and we are a complete family of 4. I wish I could say I had all this faith in God and I knew he was going to do the right thing and he has a plan. But I want things to go the way I want them to go, maybe that's selfish and wrong but I don't want to put all my faith in someone else. I want to have control over the situation and I want to know that everything is going to be OK.

Sorry this is so long and I went on and on and on. It is nice to have a place to write and get everything out of my system. So if you read it all and made it through this post I am surprised and thankful!

P.S. Alex is doing great. We have not forgotten about her! She has blue nail polish on her toes and fingers thanks to Grandma Char ( she loves it ) and she got to skype with Grandma and Grandpa Schuler last night. She is becoming more of a dare devil now days and she is jumping off of everything. She must be growing because all her pants are starting to look a little to short on her and she has started to wear underwear daily!

Have A Great Day We Are Off To Play!

This Morning

My mom and I met with the specialist ( alex came with ). We got there around 8am and I had blood work 1st. Then we went up to the perinatal center and I had another Bio Physical Profile done on our little lady and then we met with one of the specialist. I can't remember his name and I don't know if we will ever see him again, they have 6 different Dr.'s that rotate through there and so it is different daily/weekly.

Our little lady passed her test, she scored 8 of 8 which is obviously perfect.

The ultrasound tech saw her move a bunch, we watched her practice her breathing motions, I have a 10 when it comes to my amniotic fluid and the blood flow from placenta to baby was fine.


She had her hands in front of her face for most of this ultra sound, so no sucking on her toes this time. Last night she was moving like a wild lady, there was a good 10 minutes solid that she was doing turns, flips, kicks, splits! You name it I am pretty sure she tried doing it inside my belly.


When the specialist came in we had a few questions for him. He answered everything and I feel better about knowing it all but I am ready to have her out in this world where I know she is ok. I feel like my belly is not a very safe place for her and that things can turn for the worse at any moment.

We talked about my itching and how the medication I am on will help it but not take it away. My bile acid levels are high and the bile is not being broken down so it is basically in my skin and system and that is what is making me itch as well as causing the issues with the baby. The itching will continue but everything will go back to normal once the baby is born.

This is not something we have to worry about once she is out in this world. It is not something that will affect her after she is born. The only time we would have to worry about this again is if Chad and I choose to have another baby, then there is a 70% chance that this would happen to me again .

We need to worry about STILL BIRTH, we need to make sure she is moving and passing her BPP ( what we had today ) and we need to deliver her at 36 weeks. Still Birth is the issue and this is why they want me to be induced at 36 weeks.

We also talked about doing the Amnio test to make sure her lungs are ready and he said that he will HIGHLY recommend to my OBGYN that she does not do that test. I was told that I would have this test so I was kind of surprised. He said that at 36 weeks she is better off out in the world in the care of the doctors and nurses then inside my stomach. He feels that if they do that test and her lungs aren't ready they will second guess inducing me.
SO YIPPY NO BIG NEEDLE IN MY BELLY!

So everything looked great today and we got some questions answered. It is still a mystery to me how this only happens to .5% of pregnant women in the US and I am one of them. I should figure though, seems like something always has to go wrong for me.

I will be back to see my OBGYN on Tuesday. I will have a bunch of stuff done and I am hoping she will check me to see if I am dilated at all. This would be the appointment when she should start doing that so I want to make sure that she does. I will also talked to her about being induced the week of February 22nd. It is not that far off and I would like to get it scheduled as soon as we can.

We still don't know a name yet and I am starting to think we wont have one narrowed down until she is here. I keep changing my mind thinking I love the name and then I don't like it so much.

My in-laws are coming this weekend. It is Grandpa Mick's Birthday and it will be great to have them at our house and help take my mind off this a little. I can maybe get things more ready for the baby to come and maybe make a few things or have help making a few things!

Your thoughts and prayers are still greatly appreciated. I am so grateful for all my friends and family and all of the wonderful ladies I have met through this blog!

It Looks Like

I will be living at two different Dr. Offices for the rest of this pregnancy.

February 3rd ( 8:00am ) - Consult @ Perinatal Center w/ specialist
Blood Work ( fast 8 hours )
Ultrasound w/ Doppler

February 9th ( 12:50 pm & 1:30 pm ) - Ultrasound and OB Visit ( Manneh )
Blood Work
talk about being induced
( this is the only day that I am unsure what I will do with Alex. my mom is in Mexico, my husband works, my sister in law is working that day and my best friend just got a full time job )

February 12th ( 10:15am ) - Perinatal Center
Ultrasound w/ Doppler

February 15th ( 10:50am & 11:30am ) - Ultrasound and OB Visit ( Kelly )
Blood Work

February 19th ( 9:30am ) - Perinatal Center
Ultrasound w/ Doppler

That is all I have scheduled for now. I will have to schedule an Ultrasound with an amnio test at some point but I won't know that until we talk about being induced. I am thinking I will be induced the week of the 22nd but am not sure yet.

I spent about an hour looking at all the girl clothes last night. I need to go through everything this weekend and I will need to pick up some preemie and newborn stuff for this little one. Coming a month early I am guessing she will be very Little.

I do want to try and dye a few things this weekend and see how they turn out. I follow a few blogs with very creative mommies and I only wish I could do what they do. I also plan on hitting up Once Upon A Child soon and seeing what they have to offer for Tiny Babies!

I am off to play with the kiddos and then during nap time I am going to look into baby slings, bibs, burp clothes and more!

Spoiler Alert

Isn't she lovely
( her foot is touching her nose, I think we have a future gymnast )


Isn't she wonderful
( the tech used this funny noise making tool to get her to start using her diaphragm. That is one of the things they wanted to watch was her breathing )


Isn't she precious
( she is head down and her spine is on the left side of my belly, no wonder all her kicks and punches are to the right and her little rump is on my left )

We could not ask for more!
( her heart beat was somewhere around 168 beats per minute )

WE ARE HAVING A GIRL!

At the ultrasound today we found out that this little one causing so much trouble ( from the very start, remember the bleeding ) is a little girl! My husband is going to be outnumbered!!

Now it is time to pick out a name!
( I believe we are still set on the middle name being Maxine after Chads grandma )

Eliza
Blakesley
Ella
Adylin

any other names you may suggest.

I am so excited to know what we are having. I feel much more prepared because it is a little girl. Our neighborhood is going to be so FULL of little girls it is going to be insane. The men are for sure going to be outnumbered!!

It's so easy to be excited about this and to loose track of how serious this issue is that we are dealing with. I need this excitement because I have almost lost it a few times today and this weekend.

I am still scared, worried, wont get much sleep and will be sick of going to the Dr by the end of this 3 or 4 week stretch.

We will meet with a Parnatologist on Wed morning and will have answers to our questions. We will also have another ultra sound done that day that will be more in depth. They will use the Doppler and that will show the blood flow from the placenta to the baby.

I will then meet with my OBGYN on Friday I believe ( possibly Thursday ) to talk to her and go over things with her and hopefully know more about being induced at 36 weeks.

From here on out I will be having 2 ultra sounds a week ( 1 at my actual dr. office and another at the parenteral center ), blood work weekly and meeting with my OBGYN weekly.

I got very over whelmed today because I had talked with a nurse and my ob and then scheduling people and it was all a lot to take in and a lot of appointments to make.

I am so excited to know its a baby girl, it makes it that much more real for me. At the same time I don't want to look past it all and we still need all your thoughts and prayers that you are willing to give. Just because we know the sex doesn't mean we are in the clear of still birth or complications.

I still have lots of questions and we now have to wait until Wed to get answers. I will talk with my OB tomorrow and hopefully she will answer some of my questions over the phone.

Thank you all again for your support and love. It is needed and very much appreciated.